Tyrion lannister quotes funny full#

It’s your one redeeming quality – that, and your cheekbones.” ~Tyrion “I must be one of the few men in this city who doesn’t want to be king.” – Varys “You must be one if the few men in this city, who isn’t a man.” ~Littlefinger “Oh, you can do better than that.” ~Varys “You won’t be a very good hand if you see the word ‘knight’ and say “Ka-niggit.” ~Shireen “ My father once told me…” ~Loras “No one cares what your father once told you.” ~Cersei “I’d like to see you in a silk dress.” ~Jon Snow “Would you?” ~Ygritte “So I could tear it off you.” – Jon Snow “You rip my pretty silk dress and i’ll blacken your eye.” ~Ygritte I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry, into the turtle stew! Which I do believe my sister ate, at least I hope she did.” ~Tyrion “When I was twelve, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. This one's been.“Do you lie awake at night fearing my gash?” ~Varys

: Your lips are moving and you're complaining about something.

The Hound: Your lips are moving and you're complaining about something. The Hound: But they didn't, did they? So what are you whinging about? They would have killed me if it wasn't for Davos. Do you know what she did to me? She strapped me down in the bed. I wanted to join the brotherhood, but you sold me off. I'll admit, it is a subtle distinction.īeric: We're fighting a great war. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. Jaime: I thought you might say that, but since we're short on e on girls. Tyrion: Sorry, I've begun the feast a bit early, and this is the first of many courses. Tyrion: She has our cravings, our sister. Jaime: You have much to teach me, no doubt. Tyrion: Should I explain to you the meaning of a closed door in a whorehouse, brother? Whore: We've been expecting you, Lord Tyrion. I hear he's a drunken little lecher, prone to all manner of perversions. Whore: Oh? I hear he's more than earned it. Tyrion: There's the pretty one, and there's the clever one.

: I'm not entirely sure what you're suggesting.

Tyrion: I'm entirely sure, you're entirely sure, what I'm suggesting. Varys: I'm not entirely sure what you're suggesting.

And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has a sword, and I have my mind. My sister married the new King, and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. Tyrion: Yes, until my brother killed him. Jon: Until your brother killed that King. My father was the Hand of the King for 20 years. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. If I had been born a peasant, they might have left me out in the woods to die. Tyrion: Look at me and tell me what you see. You discard your old family and get a whole new one.

Not impressed by your new brothers? Lovely thing about the Watch. No, actually, I watched my brother chop wood. : Drinking and lust, no man can match me in these things.: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Twyin? In my own bed.ĭrinking and lust, no man can match me in these things.

Tyrion lannister quotes funny full#

Tyrion: In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock. Shaggar: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin? Let's go kill them!īronn: If you're lucky, no one will notice you. : Those are brave men knocking at our door.Those are brave men knocking at our door.

: As impossible as it seems, there was once a time I was unaccusto.: Anyway, don't despair, I'm a constant disappointment to my own f.Īs impossible as it seems, there was once a time I was unaccustomed to wine.Here, your next tumble with Roz is on me. Anyway, don't despair, I'm a constant disappointment to my own father and I've learned to live with it.